Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Cairo Was a Ponzi Scheme

If some bearded guy tells you to follow him to the Promised Land, ask questions. The last Exodus turned into a bit of a fiasco.

22nd December, 2015 (Montreal) OK so it's around the time of the Solstice which gets archaeologists all excited coz they talk about all these ancient cultures that also knew that today was the longest night-shortest day in the Northern Hemisphere which somehow taps into some Ancient Wisdom Vibes and gets everybody excited. Fact is, the days will now get longer and that is a happy thing.

So for about a cuppla thousand years before Moses took his tribe to Israel there were a bunch of dynasties on the Nile running a racket of grain distribution which required slavery and a system of writing down all the accounting information. The calculator they used was a slab and the accounting department ended up being a massive tomb. We didn't know what any of their writing meant when we 'discovered' it and so in the West all sorts of falsely ascribed stuff was made up about what the Egyptians were going on about. In fact, the entire mythology behind Tarot Cards for divination is derived from what some dood thought the hieroglyphs were purportedly saying. So we now have an entire youth culture hooked on Tarot Cards and believing all sorts of bollocks based on some guy who wanted to sell books about Tarot Cards based on his imagination.

Now all this is true but it doesn't mean you are wasting your time going to Cairo.

Here is the Zamalek area of the city. It is on an island, like Paris, New York, Montreal and Stockholm. An Island City is the perfect place to found a civilization. Some regard Cairo as the New York of the Arab world, but I like to think it more as the Paris of the Desert with better croissants. Then others come along and say, "Neh--it's more like Montreal" except replace the cold with heat. And so the arguments continue... but one thing we know for sure--there is no archaeological evidence of the Technicolour Dream Coat having been used by Joseph to dance the night away. That was a bunch of made-up bollocks. Also the Burning Bush at Mt. Sinai? No evidence. An entire Ethno-cultural legacy spanning four millenia founded on a 'story'... sound familiar?
We do know that at exactly the same time as The Exodus, the entire Bronze Age Civilization across the Mediterranean collapsed as the invasion of the Sea Peoples ripped the cities to bits, some to never recover again. You can blame frogs from the sky, death of everybody's first born son, or the parting of the great Red Haircut... but most historians agree... It was time to split the scene coz the granaries had no more food and eunuchs-a-gotta eat, bro.

This is what we do know.

The rest? OK I'm a writer too, I couldn't resist a fib or two.

This was to be included in the 2016 Stadium Art Movement Calendar. News of which is still forthcoming from the publisher.

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